Resilient AND Real: Showing Emotion Without Making Your Child Your Therapist
Liza and Wendy welcome Tara Manderano, published writer/editor, mental health + chronic illness advocate, and newly single mom. Tara shares what she’s learning six months into separation: how to be resilient for her daughter while also staying authentic, emotional, and honest. The conversation covers mom guilt, anxiety, chronic pain flare days, loneliness, coping tools (writing, self-care, routines), and how to create a “new norm” without pretending everything is fine. It also touches on co-parenting that keeps the child first, and when family moments together can help (if it’s healthy).
Kids don’t need a superhero, they need a safe, real parent who models emotional honesty.
Being vulnerable is healthy, but it helps to keep a safe boundary so your child isn’t carrying your adult pain.
Chronic illness + mental health + separation + parenting is a real load, grace and compassion matter.
Your “off days” are still part of good parenting when you plan for them and communicate calmly.
Small joy + intentional planning can create stability (even silly celebrations count).
Sometimes the most loving move is creating a new norm and letting it evolve.
If it’s safe and respectful, occasional “family time” (birthdays/holidays) can support a child’s emotional security.
Try this today
The “Resilient + Real” script (5 minutes):
Say to your child (simple + calm):
“I’m feeling emotional today, and that’s okay.”
“It’s not your job to fix it.”
“What would help me is you doing ____ (small task).”
Pick one self-care action for you (10 minutes): writing, shower, short walk, stretching, quiet music.
If you have flare days: create a mini plan called “When Mommy Needs Rest” (3 activities your child can do independently).
End with: “We’re safe. We’re figuring this out together.
